hurt/comfort meme

[ex_rebelyell669]

the hurt/comfort meme


It is in times of distress that hope is truly found. How you handle those periods of duress is a mark of character. Whether you're the one in pain, providing sanctuary, or even if that ache is mutual, hurt/comfort is all about empathy. Connecting with the people around you.


Instructions:

→ Post with your character (note name, canon [if relevant], and preferences in the subject line).
→ Others reply by either generating a number between 1-21 for a prompt, or go off script, I'm not the boss of you.
→ Go forth and connect.


Options:

o1. injury: somehow, you've been injured. the severity, whether a mortal wound or "just a scrape" is up to you.
o2. sickness: thinking of calling out of work today? chances are you've got a common bug...or worse.
o3. fear & anxiety: careful where you throw that "scared to death" nonsense...it might just be an omen.
o4. loss of senses: you're missing one of those fundamental six senses, whether it's your sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste, or the Force.
o5. despair: the idea of hope looks more and more like a pipe dream right now.
o6. breakup: and we are never ever ever ever getting back together. ever.
o7. makeup: but you called me up again tonight...
o8. rescued: it's time for one of you to get your damsel in distress on.
o9. bad romance: i knew you were trouble when you walked in.
1o. loss: one of you has just experienced a loss of some kind; can you cope?
11. insanity: for whatever reason, "reason" is lost to you. you're seeing and hearing things. sometimes dead people.
12. tired/insomnia: is it the caffeine or the fact that you never leave your damned senatorial office? whether it's just lack of sleep or lack of energy, this exhaustion is bone-deep.
13. addiction: something's got you hooked, and you might just need a helping hand to give it some distance.
14. nightmares: okay, now you're definitely seeing dead people. do you dare go back to sleep?
15. blackmail: you've been caught and the evidence is compromising. do you seek help or vengeance?
16. separation/homesickness: whatever it is, the nostalgia's got you missing something (or someone) awfully.
17. betrayal: your trust has been violated, but is it a real or imagined slight?
18. stranded: you're stuck. maybe someone crashed your only ship for the 50th damn time. are you sure this isn't reality tv?
19. sins & guilt: the weight of your past deeds is like holding a world on your shoulders. maybe it's time to seek some help, atlas.
2o. secret: loose lips sink spaceships.
21. wildcard: "take your script and shove it, meme."

[adapted and remixed from here.]

Comments

Qui-Gon Jinn | Pre-TPM / TPM

[sithkabobed]

[Happy to be in either role! Can also do AU/time shenanigans. WHOOPS forgot to mention: no 13, 9, 7, 6 or 15!]

[universaloptimism]

[ ooc: i got a 5. How do you wanna do this? ]

[sithkabobed]

(HMMM... AU where they worked together on an assignment and witnessed something horrible? Maybe they were tasked with protecting someone important and they royally screwed up?]

sound good. I'll start. Lemme know if you want any edits.

[universaloptimism]

[ There is no emotion, there is peace. Part of the Jedi code to never give in to the feeling of despair, to always look forward and never regret. To look at your failures and remember next time what to or not to do.

But, this time around? Kilander couldn't see past it. The young jedi (barely coming out of his Padawan stage) had been assigned with Master Qui gon to protect an important diplomat to achieve peace and an alliance in one of the neutral sectors of space. All they had to do was get them to the conference unscathed. A simple task, so simple. He thought they had it covered, but clearly the well hidden sniper had it covered better.

One shot was all it took to send that entire sector into chaos, an alliance lost and how many more lives with it?

The Jedi council told them to retreat, to come back and rethink their position and so they did. Still, on route though it would be a few more days before they made it back. In that time, Kilander wasn't sleeping, couldn't eat. His mind wracked with thoughts of guilt and sadness of his own failure. But, he had to bottle it all up. The code didn't allow for such feelings, all of them always led down a dark path.

So all he could do was just sit in his bunk, his hands folded over one another as he lay his forehead atop of them just waiting to get back. To try and at least put this all behind him. ]

[sithkabobed]

[As much respect as Qui-Gon has for the Jedi Code, he's not exactly a fan of the whole bottling up one's emotions interpretation. He'd noticed Kilander's restlessness, partly through body language and the Force, but also because he shared it, too. They shouldn't have failed with their combined skill set. This shouldn't have happened. Granted, the same could be said over countless other botched missions, but the domino effect of their fantastic screw-up was a heavy weight on Qui-Gon's conscience.]

[Without invitation, Qui-Gon steps into Kilander's bunk, the only signal to his arrival a brief knock on the door before he lets himself in.]

How are you?

[Talk about unnecessary questions.]

[universaloptimism]

[ Kilander looks up the moment the door opens. He hadn't even noticed the steps approaching the door, didn't even sense it. It only serves to make his stomach churn and the guilt worsen. Not even being able to sense the master Jedi approaching when he did.

He stares for a short moment as he listens to question and his expression can barely hide the turmoil he was feeling, all of it just seeping out into the air.

But, he tries to steel himself, and while trying to sound calm and serene he just croaks out: ]

Fine, just fine, Master Qui-Gon.

[sithkabobed]

Very convincing.

[Qui-Gon is mild in his teasing, using humor to break the tension as best he can and set not only Kilander, but himself at ease. The guilt they share is already heavy, as will the conversation that's to follow, so he's going to bring whatever advantages he can with him. If a quick joke will help, then he's going to utilize it.]

[It's also why his tone lowers with delicacy.]

You are allowed to share your feelings. It's only us here, not the Council.

[universaloptimism]

That's always my aim, Master.

[ The teasing is answered back but with half hearted enthusiasm. The melancholy mixing in and just poisoning any kind of humour he was going with. However, he knows Qui-Gon won't just leave, the man's always been too perceptive.

There's a heavy sigh as he lowers his head into his folded over hands. And there it was. He can't quite figure out what to say to that, he just repeats the mantra: ]

"There is no emotion, only peace".

[sithkabobed]

[Qui-Gon remains silent after Kilander finishes speaking. He grabs a chair and drags ith so he can sit comfortably beside the younger Jedi, hands folded neatly in his lap as he considers the words.]

A mantra that is far easier to recite than to abide.

[And one that Qui-Gon has made no secret of disobeying.]

You're carrying the weight of the mission. I am, too.

[universaloptimism]

[ He remains silent still, even as Qui-Gon pulls up a seat beside him. He's not really sure what to say while words fail him. That is until he hears the one thing he hadn't expected. His head turns slowly to the Master, his face now unable to hide any shred of his sadness. There's only a small part of him that can hold back the tears but his eyes are already stinging from the pain.

Knowing Qui-Gon shared the burden did nothing to help but increase his feelings of guilt. He chokes on his words as he says:]

I'm sorry, Master. I...it's my fault. If I had been faster...none of this would've happened.

[sithkabobed]

[Qui-Gon shakes his head.]

You and I share the blame equally. We were sent as a team, we were to complete the mission as a team, and we failed as a team.

[And there's no dancing around the issue of failure here. Whatever could be salvaged of the impending civil war didn't measure to the peace that would have prospered had the two done their jobs correctly. And yet...]

But that doesn't mean we should give into our remorse.

Remember, "just a single chance is a galaxy of hope."

[A Jedi proverb that's helped time and time again.]

10

[lothrat]

[It hurts. It hurts just as much, if not more, in a way, as when Ezra lost his parents. When the Empire took them, he'd still been able to hold a feeble hope that his parents were still alive, and then when they had died, it had been after he'd had years to get used to the separation. It had still hurt, but...

But not like this.

Ezra doesn't even have anyone he can blame. It was just a storm, just an accident, nothing where anyone had done anything wrong. One minute Kanan had been fine, and then...

And then the Phantom was gone, ripping something out of him with its explosion that had dropped him to his knees with a cry he couldn't cut off.

It hasn't gotten any better since then. A day isn't enough time for him to stop crying. It just means he's had time to find a place to hole up to try to keep his grief to himself. He'd almost tried to climb into the Ghost's ventilation shafts, knowing no one could follow him there, but he's starting to grow-

-and Kanan will never get to see how tall he'll get-

-so it's Kanan's room he goes to instead.

No one's living there now.]

[sithkabobed]

[Qui-Gon felt it, too.]

[The bond between a Jedi Master and Padawan ran so deep and enigmatic that no explanation or analogy could adequately express the prominence it holds in the everyday life of both. Comparison to a familial tie—parent and child, siblings, the closest of friends—could allow for some commiseration in a horrific event, but how could a tie that simultaneously ran through the Force, through a sensitivity to a shared cosmic power, be adequately addressed? How does one even begin to approach the kind of pain that doesn't stop at the heart, but runs throughout one's very being?]

[Ezra's cry at that fateful moment, raw and primal and full of that sudden rush of agony, provided a bit of a glimpse into that pain. It was the harbinger of a morose atmosphere that settled like lead over the whole of the crew when realization slammed into them all. Kanan's death was a reality that they now had to contend with, and each member of the crew needed to work through it in their own way. There were few words exchanged between them all outside of necessary commands and requests. Qui-Gon himself had taken the time to reflect on his feelings in silence and, although he hadn't come entirely to terms with what happened, he'd reached a level of clarity where he could support the others, namely Ezra.]

[Kanan's room felt like sacred ground given events, leading Qui-Gon to exercise more prudence in entering over his usual impose-first-ask-later attitude. He softly knocks on the door and calls with a gentle tone.]

Ezra, it's me. May I come in?

[lothrat]

[If he closes his eyes and buries his face in Kanan's pillow so that he can't feel the tears sliding down his cheeks, will that help him dull the edges of the pain? If he clutches an old shirt of Kanan's in his hands, just to feel the texture again, will that help him ignore the ragged hole that's been torn through his heart and soul?

The answer so far has been no, but Ezra doesn't know what else he can do.

The knock comes, but he doesn't respond beyond muffling his next sob in the pillow. There is no emotion, there is peace. Ezra knows he's failing pretty badly at being a Jedi right now. There's no peace for him, only devastation. Qui-Gon doesn't need to deal with that.

If I don't answer, maybe he'll go away...]

[sithkabobed]

[Well, it's not a no.]

[And that's all the justification Qui-Gon needs to open the door and enter Kanan's room. He's silent with reverence, and even his footfalls barely making noise as he steps further inside. There's a moment of hesitation before he sits down at the edge of the bed where Ezra lays. Then, he reaches out with a hand, his large palm coming to a rest on the back of the boy's shoulder. It's a light touch, easily pulled away if unwanted, but it's more than enough for Qui-Gon to feel the way Ezra's entire body is shaking with tears shed and held back.]

[He sits there quietly and waits for Ezra to speak first, if at all. Until then, Qui-Gon will stay as a familiar presence; a sign that he's not alone]

[lothrat]

[That hand on his shoulder nearly breaks him all over again. For a moment, it almost feels like Kanan's hand, large and warm and comforting, but it isn't, it can't be, won't ever be again. Kanan's gone, and he can't even pretend. Not with his broken bond so painfully raw.

He doesn't pull away, though. Just cries all the harder for it. Maybe he should be ashamed for breaking down like this, for not being able to release his emotions to the Force, but he can't bring himself to care, can't even bring himself to speak for several long minutes. Even then, his voice is thick and barely audible through the pillow.]

When will it stop hurting, Qui-Gon?

[sithkabobed]

[A loaded question with no satisfactory answer no matter how many times it's asked... which is far too often.]

[Qui-Gon sighs as he considers his response, his thumb idly moving from side to side against the fabric of Ezra's shirt as both a means to comfort the boy and help him think.]

[He knows his next words won't be easy to say, and even harder to hear, but it needs to be done.]

It won't, Ezra. Not for quite some time.

[His thoughts briefly dwell on the mountain of pain that still strikes him to this day, even if sharp pangs have devolved into dull aches.]

But you will persevere, and because of that Kanan will never truly fade away.

[lothrat]

[At least he's honest about it. He's not just telling Ezra whatever he thinks it'll take to get him to stop crying. That makes it feel more sincere, and more like he actually cares. It's not what Ezra wants to hear, but he knows what he wants isn't even possible.

So he hiccups, but doesn't roll away from Qui-Gon's hand. Maybe it's childish, but he doesn't want to break that contact with another living person who cares, with someone willing to give even that small anchor to help him ride through his grief.]

But he won't be here. He won't get to see everything that I'll become. And I won't... I can't... How can I even be what he wanted if he's not here to guide me?

[sithkabobed]

[The fact that Ezra doesn't move away from his touch allows Qui-Gon to relax, his palm discarding that light gesture and giving way to more reassuring weight.]

A Master's goal for their Padawan is never to guide them into what they want, but rather towards meeting their full potential.

You'd still honor him by devoting yourself to becoming the best Jedi you can. Regardless of the fact that he won't be there for your accomplishments in the traditional sense.

[lothrat]

[Silence meets that statement, the silence of someone who can't speak through tears. Still, he's listening, even if the only evidence that Qui-Gon's words have any effect is the loosening of little knots of tension in Ezra's back beneath the Jedi Master's hand.

Finally, Ezra manages to regain control of his voice.]

I don't have a Master anymore. I can't- Unless-

[His mind balks each time he tries to form a sentence. He knows what he needs to ask, but the words won't come. If Kanan had still been alive, they'd feel like a betrayal. It's too soon. He isn't ready.

And yet, leaving it like that makes it sound like he's planning to give up on being a Jedi at all, and that would be letting Kanan down.

So he turns, finally pulling his face away from the pillow so he can sit up and give Qui-Gon a look, pleading for him to understand. One hand scrubs at his eyes, red-rimmed and puffy.]

I just want him to be proud.

[neverwantedtobesith]

Garth'zel bolts upright in a sitting position, choking back a cry as shudders go through him. He raises a trembling hand to cover his face as he takes shaky breaths, trying to banish the accusing faces of his friends. Logically, he knows that leaving them behind to whatever their fates were wasn't his fault, but at the moment, he's having trouble convincing his emotions of that.

He doesn't look up as the door opens to admit light as a now-familar presence arrives. "Did everybody feel that or was it just you?" he says, trying but not quite managing to inject a note of humor.

[sithkabobed]

"I would say about half either way."

Qui-Gon lingers in the doorway, the sudden surge in the Force pulling him to its source out of concern. Unlike many other Jedi, his worry didn't stem from a possible attack. Instead, it's Qui-Gon's compassion that drives him (in most situations, not just this one) forward.

"What happened?"

[neverwantedtobesith]

"Survivor's guilt, I suppose," he says, closing his eyes as he works on drawing in steady breaths to calm himself. It works inasmuch that he's breathing normally and the shaking has died down, but his emotions are another matter.

"There were... things going on when I got put in that carbonite. Bad enough that people from both the Empire and Republic deserted their ranks to follow me instead because both governments were more interested in sniping at each other instead of dealing with the bigger threat. I'm sure Lana and Theron did their best to hold things together after I was gone, but they needed me as someone for people to rally behind." He pauses for a moment. It would probably help to provide context for who he was talking about.

"Lana is Lana Beniko and the last time I had seen her before she pulled me out of carbonite the first time, she had recently been promoted by Darth Marr as head of Sith Intelligence. A move I agreed with. Theron is Theron Shan. An SIS agent and the son of Grandmaster Satele Shan. We'd worked together previously; I met him through Lana." He's sure the son of the head of the Order walking away from the Republic to follow him probably says volumes.

[sithkabobed]

Qui-Gon nods along with Garth'zel's words. It's not a scenario he can completely comprehend thanks to the unique nature of Garth'zel's situation, but he can understand the notion of survivor's guilt. He can only imagine what it's like to have it amplified over thousands of years.

"You were a link between both sides. A means for them to solidify their alliance. And I'm sure a good friend to both."

It's an observation and nothing more, even as Qui-Gon's interest piques once again. It's one thing to hear about names and events in the archives, but another entirely to hear specifics from an individual who had actually been there.

[neverwantedtobesith]

"Yes," Garth'zel agrees, before calling out "Lights, thirty-five percent."

The amount of light rises to involve more than just what's coming from the doorway and window and he swings his legs around to be sitting at the edge of the bed although not yet getting out of it. There is no way he's going to try to get back to sleep right now. Not until he's had time to settle.

"Lana showed a loyalty that's rare among Sith. Not many would have spent five years looking for someone they weren't sure was even alive. Although she knew when Marr died. Maybe when she didn't feel me go out at the same time..." he shakes his head.

"Theron and I have had our disagreements. At the tops of our lungs in private, even," he says, quirking a smile. Theron understood not getting into shouting matches with his superiors in public. "But we were still friends and I valued both his and Lana's advice. Of course, now I'm wondering how the Jedi Council of this time would have reacted to him and if he'd be either locked in here with me or in a room of his own."

Given he had aligned himself with a couple of Sith, no matter how reasonable they might be. Although Garth'zel has to admit to being a bit... calmer... than Lana. He has no doubt she would have made an escape attempt long before now.