roguesquadron | hurt/comfort meme

hurt/comfort meme

the hurt/comfort meme

It is in times of distress that hope is truly found. How you handle those periods of duress is a mark of character. Whether you're the one in pain, providing sanctuary, or even if that ache is mutual, hurt/comfort is all about empathy. Connecting with the people around you.

Instructions:

→ Post with your character (note name, canon [if relevant], and preferences in the subject line).
→ Others reply by either generating a number between 1-21 for a prompt, ~~or go off script, I'm not the boss of you~~.
→ Go forth and connect.

Options:

o1. injury: somehow, you've been injured. the severity, whether a mortal wound or "just a scrape" is up to you.
o2. sickness: thinking of calling out of work today? chances are you've got a common bug...or worse.
o3. fear & anxiety: careful where you throw that "scared to death" nonsense...it might just be an omen.
o4. loss of senses: you're missing one of those fundamental six senses, whether it's your sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste, or the Force.
o5. despair: the idea of hope looks more and more like a pipe dream right now.
o6. breakup: and we are never ever ever ever getting back together. ever.
o7. makeup: but you called me up again tonight...
o8. rescued: it's time for one of you to get your damsel in distress on.
o9. bad romance: i knew you were trouble when you walked in.
1o. loss: one of you has just experienced a loss of some kind; can you cope?
11. insanity: for whatever reason, "reason" is lost to you. you're seeing and hearing things. sometimes dead people.
12. tired/insomnia: is it the caffeine or the fact that you never leave your damned senatorial office? whether it's just lack of sleep or lack of energy, this exhaustion is bone-deep.
13. addiction: something's got you hooked, and you might just need a helping hand to give it some distance.
14. nightmares: okay, now you're definitely seeing dead people. do you dare go back to sleep?
15. blackmail: you've been caught and the evidence is compromising. do you seek help or vengeance?
16. separation/homesickness: whatever it is, the nostalgia's got you missing something (or someone) awfully.
17. betrayal: your trust has been violated, but is it a real or imagined slight?
18. stranded: you're stuck. maybe someone crashed your only ship for the 50th damn time. are you sure this isn't reality tv?
19. sins & guilt: the weight of your past deeds is like holding a world on your shoulders. maybe it's time to seek some help, atlas.
2o. secret: loose lips sink spaceships.
21. wildcard: "take your script and shove it, meme."

[adapted and remixed from here.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

::Garth'zel sends soothing feelings Ezra's way to help him calm down and not pass on his anxiety to him as well. For he's also starting to have a bad feeling.::

Of course. How long do you think is long enough to wait for a response?

::He's starting to think he made a very good choice of destinations. The Empire's presence on Nar Shaddaa is basically just a token effort. Given the population here, it probably wasn't the best idea to try for more than that.::

[A little of the tension in Ezra's shoulders leeches out when that soothing wave reaches him, but even those efforts can't dispel the knot of worry in his heart complete. Doesn't help, either, that that feeling of wrongness is back, like a distant echo of pain that reaches all the way to his heart. Unconsciously, he presses a hand to his chest.]

Three days? Four at the most. I think if they could check, they would have by then.

[And he's just going to try not to dwell on what might make it so they couldn't check that communications link at all.]

A little longer than planned, but we can do that. It might give us time to think of something we want or need that we'd otherwise need to wait for.

::Then he starts shooing Ezra onto the ship.::

Take some time to find something to do so you don't worry, then we can head back out.

::Easier said than done, he knows.::

[Definitely easier said than done, and over the course of the next three days, Ezra finds himself more and more pulling out the remote to train as he waits and waits. As frustrating as training with it can be, it's good for keeping his mind from wandering.

A wandering mind means he's likely to get stung.

Unfortunately, even that isn't a cure for the worry that sinks in deeper with every day that passes with no word. Exhaustion helps him fall asleep, but it doesn't stop him from bolting awake in the night with the certainty that something's wrong, something's happening, he just can't picture what it is.

It doesn't occur to him that maybe there's a reason for that.

Not until the fourth day, when Kanan's muffling hold on their bond finally cracks, and the pain crashes into him unhindered. In that moment, the training remote gets completely forgotten, and the sting of its blaster doesn't register. Ezra screams, buckling to the ground.]

Remote, cancel!

::It's snapped out as Garth'zel springs forwards to Ezra, aware that something extremely bad just occurred, the remote already forgotten as it obediently floats in place.

He's soon kneeling in front of Ezra, trying to help him pull himself up.::

What happened?

[A flash of Kanan, a flash of pain, a flash of a face filled with sadistic delight, and then the pain rips into him again. Ezra thrashes, still screaming, but with a growing hysterical edge.]

KANAN!

[Almost without thought, he clutches at Garth'zel, eyes wild and panicked, barely seeing. Agony shreds his awareness, claws raking his mind and soul.]

Garth'zel, he's-! They have him! They're hurting- They're killing him!

[He can't say how he knows that, just that he knows!]

Edited 2017-02-20 02:48 (UTC)

::It doesn't take a genius to realize that 'Kanan' must be Ezra's Master. Not with the way he's reacting.

Garth'zel would be tempted to swear, but he can't think of anything strong enough, so he just holds on tight to Ezra in an attempt to keep him grounded.::

I'm here.

::Not particularly helpful, he knows, but it's the only thing he could think to say.::

[Ezra opens his mouth to say something, to lash out or tell him how useful that is when Kanan's dying and Ezra isn't there. But instead, all that comes out is another tortured scream as whatever Kanan's captors are doing gets worse, piercing through the man's defenses, piercing through their bond, like a knife driving into him over and over. Curling up in self defense does nothing to help. The attack isn't in his body, it's in his head. So all he can do is sob between breaths for the next scream, and then the next.

Until suddenly, the knife drives home and tears his heart out when the connection with Kanan breaks.]

KANAAAAN!!!

::Give him a break, it's not like his own Master covered 'what to do when a potential apprentice is in hysterics over feeling his Master dying'.

Garth'zel just hugs him tightly to him, awkwardly shifting to a sitting position so he could rock Ezra like he was a third of his age. He has no idea what he's doing, but he's going to at least try.::

[Maybe Garth'zel doesn't know what he's doing, but it's not like Ezra cares right now. Not with the way it feels like his world just ended, torn apart. The boy cries, raw and desperate as he buries his face in Garth'zel's chest, no care at all that he's being treated like he's five. Fingers clutch at Garth'zel's clothes in a desperate hold for something real, that he can hold onto to anchor him while he rides out his wave of pain and grief. Tears would be streaming down his cheeks, but instead they're soaked into Garth'zel's shirt.

He's not going to move from this position for a good long while.]

::Garth'zel keeps rocking him, making the occasional 'shh' sound. That, and keeping his arms wrapped around him in a tight hug while trying to send comfort through the Force is all he can really think to do.::

Let it out.

[Let it out. As if Ezra could do anything else, as broken as he is. All he can do is continue to sob while Garth'zel holds the pieces of him together. He never knew how much Kanan was a part of him until now, how strong their bond had been. Now...

Now it feels like there's a hole inside of him, bleeding out, and he's not sure if he even wants to heal.]

[It takes hours for the initial shock to wear off, though even that isn't enough time for the hurt to stop. Still, it's a very subdued Ezra who finally lets go of Garth'zel, scrubbing a hand over puffy red eyes.]

...sorry.

[His voice is raw. It almost hurts just to speak. But Garth'zel deserves an apology.

He shouldn't have had to deal with Ezra like that.]

::Garth'zel's a little surprised Ezra hasn't passed out. He fully expected him to cry himself into exhaustion and need putting to bed.::

There's nothing to apologize for.

::It's said firmly. While he can't feel his legs properly due to having a teenager basically on his lap, it doesn't even really register.::

I'm sure it goes without saying, but training is done for the day.

::He's quiet for a moment, considering what to do.::

I think it's best to leave Nar Shaddaa. Just in case.

::He nods decisively as a plan forms in his head.::

We'll go to Alderaan, stay there for a week, load up on a couple months' worth of supplies, and go to a planet I know of where we'll likely be the only ones there.

::They'll be able to lie low and give Ezra time to recover. Along with training in peace.::

[Don't hold your breath for long on that, Garth'zel. There's time yet for Ezra to collapse in bed and not emerge for the next day and a half. And he probably will.

But he needs to give the man a warning first.]

They were looking for me. They were... They were trying to get into Kanan's- into my Master's head to find me. [He drags in a shuddering breath, threatening to cry all over again just from saying his name. He scrubs his eyes again, trying to stave it off.] They might have felt me. I don't know. I was... I was hurting too much. But it's not safe to be with me right now.

I'm not leaving you.

::His tone brooks no argument.::

Sounds like its just as well I'm planning to take you somewhere they won't think to look for you, isn't it? I think that for the foreseeable future, we should avoid any planets you might otherwise be inclined to go to, since they might know to look for you at them.

::It's hard to know for certain, without knowing what information was pried out of Ezra's Master and friends, but he thinks it's logical.::

[Just as well that Garth'zel didn't mention that part about Ezra's friends. As hard as Kanan's death had hit him, he hasn't had a chance to consider the fate of the rest of the Ghost crew. Hasn't put the pieces together if Kanan had been the only one captured, there would have been an answer to the message he'd sent out to them. That realization will come later, of course, and tear him up even more, but for now, he's got enough on his plate just struggling to recover from having the bond between him and Kanan gutted.]

You don't owe me anything, Garth'zel. Doing the right thing doesn't mean you have to go into hiding for me. You've helped enough already. I don't... [His voice breaks.] I don't want you getting killed, too.

You say that like I've never been hunted before.

::It's said lightly in an attempt to try to distract.::

Granted, it was a completely different Empire; in fact, one that had both Sith and Jedi working together to fight back, but it's not anything I haven't dealt with before.

::He's not going to say anything about whether or not he gets killed, because he knows better than to make any promises on that subject. There's only trying to be mildly distracting.::

[Ezra's breath hitches at the mention that Garth'zel has been hunted in the past. Doesn't matter that it was a different Empire, doesn't matter that he's only known Garth'zel a little over a week, doesn't even matter that the man's trying to be reassuring. In this moment, he's the only person Ezra has left in his life, whether he realizes it consciously or not. The thought of losing him, too, is more than he can bear. A fresh wave of tears has him burying his face in Garth'zel's chest again, his whole body shuddering with sobs.]

Don't- don't joke about that.

[It's too soon for him, and maybe it's childish, but his fingers knot themselves into Garth'zel's clothes as though to keep him from disappearing, too.]

I'm t-tired of being hunted. I'm tired of- of everyone I care about dying! Don't- Just don't.

::Well, that attempt at calming him down was certainly a failure. Garth'zel sighs and wraps his arms around Ezra again, resting one hand on the back of his head as he starts rocking him again.::

Shh. You'll be all right. I won't let anything happen to either of us.

::He lets his mind wander for a few minutes, resulting in thoughts of Ashara, Theron, and Lana, among others he'd known and wished were there on the ship with them. As there usually is when he allows himself to think of them, there's a deep pang of loss, one he doesn't suppress this time and lets Ezra feel.::

You're not the only one here who knows what it feels like to lose everyone. ::It's said in a murmur.:: It's why I'm not going to let anything happen to you.

::In fact, anyone who was stupid enough to go after Ezra in his presence is liable to get some Force lightning to the face. Among other portions of anatomy.::

[Not that Ezra would want to wish this pain on anyone else, but... maybe it helps. Just a little bit. To feel that echo of loss, to know he's not alone, to have someone else with him who understands what he's feeling. It can't cure his pain, of course.

Nothing can heal the bleeding ends of a broken bond, except time.

But it helps Ezra's sobs fade into softer hiccups. It's almost on the tip of his tongue to ask about the people that Garth'zel lost, except that he's not sure if either of them want to add another layer of grief and hurt to what they're already dealing with. So for now, he just settles with resting his head against Garth'zel and giving into that hug. He's probably not in any condition to offer much comfort of his own, but what he has, he'll give.]

You don't mind? I mean, staying with me? Letting me stay? You probably weren't looking for...

[For an added responsibility. For a kid he'd have to look after. For someone he'd have to clothe and feed and teach - though Ezra would hold that he could teach himself most of anything he'd need to know.

But none of that is what he wants to say when talking about himself, so Ezra lamely changes tack.]

I doubt keeping me was what you had in mind when we met on Taris.

I can't say I went to Taris expecting to leave with a teenager, no. Even if I did offer to take you on before you told me you had a Master already.

::It's said wryly as Garth'zel starts pushing back his own sense of loss. Ezra knows it's there, he doesn't need it added to what he's already feeling beyond the amount of time it took for him to realize it was there.::

Interestingly enough, the first time I went to Taris, I also left with a Padawan. Although, unlike you, she was only two years younger than I. I'd be tempted to think it coincidence, but the odds of this happening...

::Garth'zel just shakes his head slightly. The Force had to be involved somehow. It's the only explanation that makes sense.::

That was an offer?

[Ezra looks up, genuinely surprised.]

I thought you were just... you know... making a point.

[He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. Maybe this time they'll stay dry. Maybe. (Probably not. But hopefully it'll be a while before that ache of loss hits him again.) His head feels heavy, though, and after a moment, he lets it rest again.]

Have you trained a lot of Padawans?

Well, I did ask if you were looking for a teacher.

::It's pointed out with a raised eyebrow before he's shaking his head.::

I can count the amount on one hand. Which, really, given my age, isn't a surprise.

::He's entirely too young to have taught many apprentices. Honestly, he would have liked some time to figure out what he was doing before getting any, considering that as soon as he was no longer one, he inherited his Master's other apprentices.::

I know, but I didn't think that you meant it. I mean, not like that.

[Who offers to train some random kid they just met? Even Kanan had taken some time to warm up to him.

Kanan...

He has to blink fiercely for a moment. He doesn't want to start crying again.]

I don't... I'm not... I just lost him.

[His voice breaks just saying that, but he doesn't want Garth'zel to get the wrong idea. If Garth'zel's looking for an apprentice, Ezra can't be that for him. He can't replace Kanan.

Not yet.]

hurt/comfort meme

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